Issue 7 - May 15, 2026

If this is your first issue, welcome.
If you’ve been following along, thank you — I truly appreciate it.

This week, we’ve got a little bit of everything…

If yelling “Fore!” works, wouldn’t yelling “Five!” be even safer?
Apparently not.

We’ll also take a look at damaged golf clubs…
and the emotional toll they take — including the long, somber walk to retrieve them afterward.

Also…

Larry’s First Tee Apocalypse.

And finally…

The mysterious $35 hole that somehow appears in a brand-new golf glove after about six swings.
Well… okay… maybe a few rounds.

Because somewhere, on some golf course…
golf is laughing at all of us.

Let’s get into it.

If you’ve made it past the caricature…
we might already be on the same wavelength.

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At some point in your golfing life, you’ve heard it.

Maybe you’ve yelled it.
Maybe you should have yelled it… but didn’t.

“FOOOOORE!”

It’s golf’s universal warning system.

Translation:

“Incoming golf ball — and I’m not entirely sure where it’s going.”

So Where Did It Come From?

There are a few theories — and like most things in golf history, none are completely agreed upon.

But the most widely accepted explanation dates back to early golf in Scotland.

Golfers would often have forecaddies — people positioned ahead of the group whose job was to:

When a shot was heading in their direction, players would yell:

“Fore!”
Short for: “Forecaddie!”

Which essentially meant:

“Pay attention — this might involve you.”

The Other (Less Official) Theory

There’s also a belief that it comes from military origins — soldiers shouting warnings before firing.

Which, if you’ve ever watched a high-handicap group on a busy Saturday…

…actually makes a lot of sense.

🎯 The Reality

Whatever the origin, the meaning today is crystal clear:

🏁 Closing Thought

If you think your ball might hit someone…

Yell it.

Loudly.

And early.

Because in golf, there are two types of players:

Remember that round.

You weren’t playing great. In fact… not even close.

But then — a par 5.

Two great shots. You’re on the fringe.

Redemption.

A long putt for eagle. At worst, a birdie.

You roll the first one…

👉 10 feet short.

“Alright,” you think. “I’ve seen these all day.”

You line it up for birdie. Smooth stroke.

👉 4 feet past.

Now it’s for par.

You take a breath. Settle in.

👉 Miss.

Now it’s a tap-in for bogey.

And that’s when it happens.

You casually — very casually — take your putter…
and launch it down the fairway like it’s trying to qualify for a NASA program.

It helicopters beautifully.
Honestly, great form.

Lands about 40 yards away.

You stand there for a second.

Then reality sets in.

Now you’ve got the walk of shame…
to retrieve your own poor decision.

You pick it up.

Look at it.

And immediately think:

👉 “That doesn’t look right…”

The shaft is bent.

Not slightly bent.

Definitely bent.

So… Is That a Penalty?

If you use it in its damaged state, YES.

If you’ve damaged a club in anger, you are not allowed to continue using it in its altered state.

👉 If you do use it…

That’s a penalty.

And It Gets Better…

That putter?

The one you just turned into modern art?

There’s a very good chance it was:

👉 a birthday gift
👉 from your wife
👉 that cost about $300

So now, not only are you dealing with:

You’re also dealing with:

👉 a conversation at home you’d rather avoid

Key Takeaway

If you damage a club in frustration, don’t use it.

And more importantly…

👉 maybe don’t throw it in the first place.

If that saved you from damaging a very expensive putter… or an argument with the wife…

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When I was 18, I was a junior member at Uplands Golf Club, located north of Toronto in Thornhill.

At the time, it was a lovely 18-hole golf course designed by a renowned Canadian golf course architect Stanley Thompson, (A name I will confirm once I stop pretending my memory is a library with a filing system.)

Sadly, today Uplands has been chopped into a nine-hole golf course with so many modifications that even the greenskeeper probably needs Google Maps, a compass, and emotional support to find some of the tee and greens.

But I digress.

On this particular busy Saturday, I brought a good friend of mine to play. We’ll call him Larry.

Larry was a husky left-hander with limited golf skill, unlimited enthusiasm, and the kind of attitude you want in a playing partner: cheerful, optimistic, and completely unaware of the carnage he was about to unleash.

Eventually, it was our turn on the first tee.

The opening hole was fairly straightforward. Hit it about 220 yards straight out, stop short of the river, and then play your second shot up to an elevated green.

Simple enough.

Golf, of course, heard that and started laughing.

Larry pulled out his driver, teed up the ball, took his setup, and made a mighty swing.

Now, when I say he hit the ball off the heel of the club, I want to be very clear.

I don’t mean he hit it slightly toward the heel.

I mean the ball may have been struck by the three layers of lacquer on the outside of the old laminated wooden driver. I am not convinced any actual wood was involved.

The ball shot straight backward toward him and went between his legs.

I remember watching in disbelief as it rolled off the tee deck, down the stairs, onto the pathway beside the clubhouse.

And then it just kept going.

About 30 feet away, the clubhouse door was open.

Naturally, because golf has a sense of humour and it is not always kind, the ball rolled right through the open door and into the clubhouse.

I’m not sure whether it was looking for the bar, the pro shop, or the washroom.

But one thing was clear:

That ball wanted absolutely nothing to do with the fairway.

Now, there were plenty of people standing around the first tee waiting for their turn, and they had all just witnessed this opening act.

There was silence.

Not normal silence.

Golf silence.

The kind where everyone wants to laugh but also knows they could be next.

To Larry’s credit, he took it in stride.

He picked up another ball, put it on the tee, reset himself, and prepared for redemption.

A lesser man might have folded.

Larry was not a lesser man.

Larry was about to reload.

He took another mighty swing and this time absolutely smashed it.

Unfortunately, there were power lines crossing the fairway.

And yes.

Of course.

About 100 yards out from the tee, it hit those power lines and dropped like an X-wing that just caught a proton torpedo from Lord Vader himself. “The Empire strikes again.”

Now, in fairness, this was covered by a local rule. If your ball hit the power lines, you got to replay the shot without penalty.

So Larry was still lying zero. Though technically he was three form the tee, but still, no added strokes because of Ontario Hydro - so he had that going for him

Spiritually, he was already about seven over par.

But no problem.

He teed up another ball.

At this point, there was a slightly different energy on the tee deck.

People were no longer just waiting to play.

They were watching a performance.

Larry took a practice swing, stepped up to the ball, and let another one go.

This time he hit a giant pull to the right, directly toward the ninth green.

Near that green stood a large tree that had previously been struck by lightning. One of its limbs had been sheared off, leaving a gaping hole in the trunk.

And yes, because apparently the golf gods were not finished with Larry, his ball flew directly into that hole.

Straight in.

Gone.

Never to be seen again.

Not a bounce.

Not a kick.

Not a helpful member of the greens crew saying, “Found it.”

Nothing.

The ball simply entered the tree and retired from public life.

At this point, one ball had gone into the clubhouse, presumably to order lunch.

One ball had hit the power lines and been returned to earth by hydro authority, aided by Darth Vader.

And one ball had embedded itself into a lightning-damaged tree like it was trying to become part of nature.

That is not a bad stretch of golf.

That is a biblical event.

Shortly after that, the golf professional came up to the tee deck and very politely suggested that we just drop a ball down near the river and continue from there.

Which was probably wise.

Because if Larry had kept going, there was a reasonable chance his next shot would have hit a passing aircraft, started a small brush fire, or somehow ended up in the swimming pool.

To sum it up:

One ball went into the clubhouse to retire.

One ball had its flight path instantly changed by the power grid.

And one ball decided it wanted nothing more to do with Larry and moved permanently into a tree.

That, my friends, is not just a bad start.

That is the Three Horsemen of the Golf Apocalypse.

And before you ask: yes, I know there are supposed to be four horsemen.

But Larry only hit three tee shots.

The pro stopped him before Revelations could fully unfold.

This is where we usually save something that can actually improve your game.

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There are few things in golf more optimistic than a brand-new golf glove.

Fresh out of the package.
Bright white.
Soft leather.
Smells like hope… and suspiciously high mark-ups.

You finally broke down and bought a new glove after realizing the old one had become stiffer than the oak tree you introduced your driver to on the 7th hole last weekend.

At some point, things had deteriorated to the point where it was actually easier to put your hand into the glove through the hole in the palm than through the wrist opening.

But I digress.

Because for a brief moment, standing on the first tee with that pristine new glove, you honestly believe:

“This glove has given me a brand-new outlook on today’s round.”

And then…

Three rounds later…

A hole appears in the heel pad.

Not a small one either.
A full-blown ventilation system.

Now your thumb is sticking out like it’s trying to escape captivity.

And somehow this always happens immediately after paying approximately $35 for a piece of leather roughly the size of a hamster blanket.

Naturally, most golfers blame the glove company.

“This thing is garbage.”

Meanwhile the glove company is probably sitting there saying:

“Sir… you’re strangling the club like you’re trying to extract state secrets from it.”

Because the truth is, golf gloves are actually very honest little diagnostic tools.

That hole?
It’s trying to tell you something.

Usually one of two things is happening.

First…

Many golfers swing to the top of the backswing and allow the hands to relax and open slightly. Then during the downswing, they suddenly tighten everything back up again like they’re hanging from the side of a cliff.

That tightening action allows the butt end of the club to move up and down inside the glove during the swing.

Over time…

Rub.
Rub.
Rub.

Goodbye glove.

But the most common cause?

The dreaded Thumb-and-Index-Finger-Lobster-Grip.

You’ve seen it.

Some golfers hold the club almost entirely with their thumbs and index fingers — like two angry lobster pinchers trying to crack open a mussel.

Meanwhile, the fingers actually designed to support the club are barely participating.

Ideally, the club should be supported more through:

But many golfers do the exact opposite.

At the top of the backswing, the “pinchers” take over.

This leaves the grip slightly unsealed in the back of the lead hand, allowing the butt end of the club to move and rub against the heel pad area of the glove during the swing.

Over time…

Rub.
Rub.
Rub.

And eventually your $35 glove looks like it had a fight with a belt sander.

Now, to be fair, gloves do wear out eventually no matter what.

Sweat.
Friction.
Heat.
Rain.
Repeated exposure to golf-related emotional trauma.
And rather untidy packing — stuffing your wet glove into the golf bag like you’re sealing a hole in a boat.

But if your glove develops a hole before you’ve even had time to regret buying it…

There’s a decent chance your grip pressure and hand mechanics need a little attention.

Because in a good golf swing, the club should feel secure — not imprisoned.

And your glove should not look like you spent the afternoon raising a barn in Amish country.

Join the Conversation

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👉 Have a question about your swing?
👉 Something you’d like me to cover?
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My goal with The Golf Scene is simple:

To help you understand the game a little better,
make your bad shots a little less bad,
and maybe even help you enjoy it a bit more along the way.

Because let’s be honest…

👉 this game doesn’t need to be any harder than it already is.

If you found this useful (or at least mildly entertaining), feel free to share it with:

And if you’re looking to take your game a step further…

👉 I’d be happy to help — in person or online.

David Govan
PGA of Canada Professional

Golf Excellence Academy
Modern Golf Instruction

Creator of the 5C Golf Performance System
👉 GolfExcellence.ca

Ps — Next week I will continue the discussion of the 5C Golf Performance System